In the true marriage relation the independence of the husband and wife is equal, their dependence mutual and their obligations reciprocal. -- Lucretia Mott (1793-1880) F eminists have long been queasy about marriage, but our queasiness is not about marriage per se; it concerns the way marriage has been practiced. The religious right paints feminists as opposed to marriage and all that goes with it: heterosexuality, men, family, love, caring, and children. Campaigning against the Equal Rights Amendment in the 1970s, Phyllis Schlafly flatly warned that "feminists hate men, marriage, and children." Twenty years later, Pat Robertson advised would-be supporters in a fundraising letter: "The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children ... and become lesbians." Clearly, the right misrepresents feminists' struggle with marriage, but many moderates and even some...